WHAT’S YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

   I took part in a SLAM (sex, love and marriage) course at church and in one session my youth leader introduced us to this bad book:

                                   

    What better day to talk about love language if not a very special day for lovers: Valentine’s Day. I’m always so passionate about love, communication and understanding between partners, I love when there is connection, mutual understanding and all the lovey dovey in a relationship.  

   So, the concept behind this book is that many relationships and marriages are falling apart not because the spouses don’t love each other, but because they aren’t speaking each other’s primary love languages. So I was like huh? There is more than one love language now? 

The main 5 are:

·        Physical Touch

·        Words of Affirmation

·        Quality Time

·        Acts of Service

·        Gifts

   Physical touch is always misunderstood; this language is not all about bedroom. A person whose primary love language is physical touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face- they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care and most especially love. Physical presence and accessibility are very crucial. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

   Actions don’t always speak louder than words if your primary love language is words of affirmation.  If this is your love language, hearing words like “I love you”, “you’re beautiful”, “and you look good” etc.  Are very important, hearing these words sends some chills to your spine and hearing the reasons behind that love your partner has for you sends your spirits skyward. If your partner has this love language, be very careful what you say to him/her, insults can leave a person that has this love language shattered and not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging and positive words are very necessary.

   In the vernacular of quality time, nothing says “I love you”, like a full undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there- with the TV  off, fork and knife down and all chores and tasks on standby makes your significant other feel loved. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

   Anything you can do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she wants to hear most are: “let me do that for you” “I can help you with that” etc. Makes them feel loved.

Receiving Gifts:  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness and efforts behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, loved, cared for and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty thoughtless gift would be disastrous, so also with the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and treasured greatly.

   Now everyone has one primary love language out of these 5 major ones, some like me might have two. So, my question to you is what’s yours? Do you even know what it is?  Do you agree with it? If not, why?  If you don’t know, here is a link.

                                           http://www.5lovelanguage.com/profile/

Here is mine

                                                                 

So, what’s yours? I’d love to know. Do men generally have a different love language to women, or is it completely random?

 Knowing your own love language and your partner’s will definitely help to foster your relationship and keep both your love tanks full. 

                  Happy Valentine’s Day.