INDECIPHERABLE

She woke up with an unusual bout of sickness,the nauseous feeling,the incessant pounding in her head..she ran to the toilet to try vomiting,she vomited all sort of things

"eeew..I wonder how my gut looks up close"

She had been experiencing what seemed like a migraine for few days,

"it's probably nothing,it's just the stress." she assured herself.

She ran to the medicine shelf,took out one of the medicine bottles and popped some pills into her mouth. The house suddenly started twirling,she felt like she was in a tunnel,round and round she went till all became blank.

She woke up several hours later,she found herself on the floor. She tried remembering what had happened and then it hit her,she had woken up that morning having her usual symptoms of sickness,

"Am I pregnant?"She thought.."No,it's not possible,I haven't even had sex,it's malaria,I can't be pregnant"she finally concluded.

She brushed her teeth,made her usual morning glass of milk and downed it in a gulp and then went into the bathroom to take her bath. She dressed up as quickly as she could,pulled on her old sweater and her faded jeans and ran out of the house without making an effort to change her slippers. She walked down the street and flagged down a bike..."Iya alagbo".
She didn't like injection,she hated needles with passion which left her to the fate of herbal concortion. Within 10minutes,she was at Iya alagbo's shop.. Iya alagbo was a very popular herb and concortion seller in the heart of Ibadan. She was patronized on daily basis by the rich and poor people in the society. The rate at which she was patronized never ceased to amaze people..Since she got there early,she was able to see Iya alagbo herself.

"Ekaro mama,hope you are good ma?"

"Kaaro omo mi"she replied,she probably decided to ignore the strings of english words that followed,she understood english but just couldn't speak much.

"Mama I think I am having malaria symptoms,ara mi o ya(I am not feeling fine)"

"Ara re o ya?ki ni awon nkan ti o n ri?(What are the symptoms you are having?)"

"Headache,ebi ma n gbe mi(I usually feel nauseated),I sometimes feel sharp pains around my stomach region"

"Se otutu ma n mu eh ni,your body dey hot?(Do you always feel feverish?)"

"Yes mama,I get feverish a lot of time too"

"Ah iba lo ma fe je yen(I think it might be malaria)"agbo ati agumu ni ah ma fun eh(you will be given herbal concortion)"

"Alright mama,eshey gan ni(thanks a lot)"

"Sugbon mu owo re wa(stretch forth your hands)"

Iya alagbo checked her palms and even opened her eyelids but saw nothing unusual. She was just taking precautions,no stone could be left unturned but she was relieved to know that the young girl hadn't taken in. There was something about the girl,she looked lost and helpless and her heart reached out to her.

"Iba ni,o dami loju" Iya alagbo said reassuringly. She packed the herbs and other things into a polythene bag after which the lady paid the money and took her leave.
She got home and followed everything iya alagbo said and surprisingly she started getting better....."now I can finally go about my activities without the usual feeling of fatigue"...she said to herself on a sunday night.


LET US GET TO KNOW HER
Her name is Tomide Ajibade. She was in every sense a beauty,with her almond shaped eyes and a heart shaped face,a smile that could work up the heat in a man,she had everyone hooked. She was loved by all,she was an only child but an orphan. Her parents died when she was age eighteen. Her world came crashing the day they died in a fire that broke out in their home,the cause of the fire was never established. She was left with nothing. They were never rich but they were quite comfortable. They never grumbled and they served God like he was created only for them. They lived by the rules and never faltered. Her views about God changed that fateful night. She wished her father hadn't stopped her from coming home that weekend,she wished she had died in that inferno with them,life was cold,the world wasn't a place to be.
Her only source of comfort was her boyfriend,Kola,he loved her and helped her get through that dark phase of her life and even though she remained withdrawn and cold to him and everyone,he never left her. He forgave all her excesses and still prayed for her to be healed because he knew she was vulnerable on the inside. He became her parent,he was all she had left. She had just 3 years to finally becoming an adult,she was still fragile and naïve. He covered her expenses and even got her an apartment to stay outside school so she wouldn't feel pressured at any time. He was so sweet to her,she literally owed him her life and existence.
She kept to herself,lost all her friends because everyone thought she being overly reactive to all that had happened,they considered her a tard too bitchy. She was grateful they all left her alone though,it gave her time to think and stop silly chats and gossips girls engaged in.
Kola finally left her,he cheated on her with someone else,he was totally convinced she had become ice itself and there was no way to get through her,she seemed so impregnable. She understood and she let him go. She became numb afterwards,picked up menial jobs to survive and see herself through university.

I met her on a beautiful Monday morning. Her beauty got me drooling,I moved closer to compliment her and realized she looked lost. A closer look and I saw tears flowing down her face,our friendship started that day. I became her wall,her rock,I comforted her and every time she was alone,I was quick to rid her of her empty feelings. I was like a sister she never had.

That's pretty much all about her. SHE WAS NO BITCH,SHE WAS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD!


She got back to school and resumed work almost immediately. A month,two,she was still doing very fine.
The headache came back a day to christmas,she attributed it to stress once again.."just the bustling and excitement of the season"she said..she got through christmas but the days that followed,she spent in pain. On the eve of new year,she slumped.

She woke up to see white walls,the sound of beeping machines kept making her head pound,she was wired around with drips,needles were stuck into her body at all side,it was a surprise she could still breathe on her own. She screamed and tried to get free but the nurses came running through the door just in time to hold her down. The doctor followed and I came in with eyes stained with tears and a red nose for I had been crying.

"I demand to know why I am here"she screamed.

"It's okay darling,you will be alright." the nurses cooed and gave reassuring smiles.

"It happens every now and then but it's nothing to worry about,you can still go about your activities in the little time you have left."the doctor said.

She looked around and returned her gaze to the doctor's face,she was petrified but did a good job of looking calm.."What is really wrong with me",she finally asked.

"I'm sorry Tomide but it seems you have.." the doctor was about completing his sentence when I halted him with a loud cry...."nooo!stop all this!do you want to kill her in this state,please do not tell her"I begged.

"Shut up,all of you"she screamed.

They all kept mum with bewildered looks on their faces..when she saw she had the attention of all,she spoke,"now tell me what this is about,I have a right to know."

"I am sorry Tomide but you have cancer"the doctor said.

"Cancer?Cancer..Cancer,no no no!"she screamed.

She seemed to think about it and finally said"what type of cancer?"

"It is the cancer of the blood,leukemia"the doctor said with a startled cry.

She looked from my face to the nurses faces and saw us struggling to hold back tears,we all wanted to be strong for her.

"How long do I have?"She asked.

The doctor heaved a sigh,hesitated and finally said.."two months."

"Two months?what the hell?why two months?but..I.."She stopped as I broke down in tears,I cried and ran out of the room,it was too much to bear.

Still keeping a calm face,she asked"any chance you could slow down the cancerous growth doc?drugs?chemo?oh,I totally forgot I'm impoverished,I can't even afford that". She said with a short laughter.

"You.."the doctor started but was cut off with a scoff.

"never mind doc,save it for an undying patient."

"If it's okay by you,I will like to rest now,I sure need it,don't I?"She said with sarcasm.

The doctor made a move to leave the room..."and hey doc,tell my friend to come in,I would also love to be discharged by tomorrow and please do not argue with me,it is my life." she said with a wink.

She left the hospital the next day and two days after,she went to Iya alagbo's place to say goodbye.

"Mama,Ekaro."

"Ah,bawo ni omo mi(how are you my child?),o t'ojo meta(it's been a long while),shey ara re si ti ya gaga(and I hope you are now alright?)"

"Beeni mama,iba ti lo(the fever is gone) but mama I was diagnosed with something deadly 3 days ago."

A look of shock replaced the calm look on Iya alagbo's face as Tomide gave her the details of all that had happened in the last few days.

"Jejere(cancer)." Iya alagbo said in a whisper.


Few days later,she called me to come over,..."I do not want you to be here when I die so I insist you stop coming to pay me visits."

I protested but my grumbling fell on deaf ears..."you can't do this to me Tomide,I have to be here with you,you need me babe."

She smiled.."will you refuse a dying girl her last wish?please do not. Oh,one last thing,I want this as an epitaph"FUCK LIFE" sweet right?make sure you do that or my spirit will haunt you down,okay?"

I shrieked with laughter which later turned into loud sobs..."I will miss you babe,I love you so much you know that right?"

"Of course you do silly,I love you too..now scoot and leave a dying girl some time to prepare for her long journey."

We said our final goodbyes and blew kisses with tears in our eyes..."hey I'm serious about that epitaph." she called back.
I nodded and ran out of the door.

She heaved a sigh and let out a loud cry,she moved to the mirror and saw an image she had come to live with in the past few weeks. She had been reduce to a frail and thin ghost,her skin had lost it glow and was just cracked and white,the pain was unbearable,she prayed for death to take her and quit stalling.


Ain't no doctor or therapeutic that. can take the pain away
The pain's inside
And nobody frees you from your body
It's the soul that needs surgery
It's my soul that needs surgey
Plastic smile and denial can only take you so far
And you break when the paper signs you in the dark
You left a shattered mirror
And the shards of a beautiful girl
Pretty hurts


On the 7th of March,She died in the comfort of her room. I mourned her,Iya alagbo who had started making a visit to her house everyday before she died mourned her also,she was also all we had.
Oh!and the epitaph,I did write exactly what she asked and I still laugh out loud whenever my eyes catch the phrase while laying flowers on her grave every last friday of the month.
I still wish she didn't die of cancer,she suffered a lot,what a beautiful soul she was..The demise of her parents wasn't enough,the loss she suffered wasn't enough,life still dealt her a final blow..am I happy she is no more?I guess I am,at least she has peace now*smiles*..
Life isn't fair and our God remains a mystery,he is INDECIPHERABLE,AWAMARIDI.


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Hi amazing readers,I hope you all enjoyed this piece?it isn't really about you enjoying it,it is to let you know the pain that exists beyond imagination...There are a lot of Tomides out there,cancer kills daily and it doesn't attack adults alone contrary to your beliefs,it attacks anyone and at any age..and not only the rich or "ajebutter" develop cancer like most people think,even the poor "ajepaki" also has a high risk...PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE!!!
Your smile and prayer can do a lot to lessen the pain of many,show love to everyone in any way you can.
Happy New Year once again. Ich Liebe Dich.

Kitty.