“After buying her goodies on her birthday, she opens her mouth and tells
you she’s on her period… my brother, please rape her, God will
understand.”
This ‘thing’ here got 160 likes on Facebook. You know what that means
to me? We have 161 self-acclaimed potential rapists right here. The
above Facebook post is not, in any way, funny. It totally depicts that
both the writer and his 160 ‘likers’ have both sadistic and masochistic
tendencies. I know it looks like I hold a grudge against him, but no I
don’t. It’s just stupid that anyone could think this is funny or
rational. I’m going to break down this post into small analyzable parts.
AFTER BUYING HER GOODIES ON HER BIRTHDAY…
Dude! What are you supposed to do on her birthday? Collect goodies from
her? If it’s indeed her birthday and assuming you are her boyfriend, you
are supposed to get her goodies. So what’s with the ‘after buying her
goodies on her birthday’ thingy? Is the concept so foreign to you?
Haven’t you heard of it before? Maybe her brother got her a gift for her
birthday. Maybe her male classmates got her goodies on her birthday.
Maybe her friend from her place of worship got her goodies on her
birthday? Did these people think it was their God-given right to RAPE
her?
SHE OPENS HER MOUTH AND TELLS YOU SHE’S ON HER PERIOD…
I think the poster left something out here. You asked to have sex with
her before she opened her mouth and told you she was on her period,
right? Now I’d say this small scenario is partly her fault. If I were
the babe, I’d slap the freak out of you and give you back your
godforsaken goodies. I mean, this is all kinds of wrong. Were you begged
before you bought them? The whole thing is even demeaning to the female
in question. Demanding for sex after buying her goodies, reduces both
of you to the level of prostitute and customer. So, for your girlfriend,
you buy the goodies before the sex and for the prostitute, you pay for
the sex with the goodies. Like that old woman in Fuji House of Commotion
would say, “At’Opolo ati Konko, what difference is it? [What’s the
difference between the frog and the toad?]” First offence: Have you ever
heard that you are not supposed to have sex before marriage? Second
offence: Did it occur to you that the babe in question might actually be
on her period?
MY BROTHER, PLEASE RAPE HER...
Third offence: Do you realize that rape is punishable by law? It would
be great if you were caught in the act and thrown in jail for the rest
of your miserable life! I don’t know how one would think it rational to
rape some girl for any reason; she wears skimpy clothes, she’s a teaser,
you bought her goodies or what other reasons rapists have. Nothing
justifies rape. Nothing.
GOD WILL UNDERSTAND
For this particular clause in the post, I continually shake my head. God
will do what? When will people stop thinking God is man? Dude, I pity
you. You finish raping the fine sister and think God will understand
because you spent your miserable ten thousand naira in getting her
goodies. God will still not understand if you had sold yourself to buy
her the goodies, brother. Remember: God is not mocked nor is he man!
A little something for guys that think it rational to rape that babe
because she’s always wearing skimpy clothes: Flee from all appearance of
evil! Bend down, remove your slippers, put them in your armpits and run
like you are Usain Bolt and the devil himself is chasing you. He really
is, actually.
I just rechecked the post and I realize a number of females liked the
post too. My dears, for you, I laugh in pidgin. You delude yourselves,
babes. You really do.
Now, I know many people think I ‘pressed p’ so much on this issue that
was obviously meant as a joke. But, out of the abundance of the heart,
the mouth speaketh. Sexual abuse is not something we should joke about.
And if you thought the post was funny, start re-thinking.
Be good.
Dami.
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