WAKABOUT

Considering the fact that school was on holiday plus I totally stressed myself out and slept so late the night before, I woke up really early that morning: 8: 40am… or so. I reached for my 17th century Nokia and checked my Whatsapp messages. 7 messages from Bola, my crazy classmate from secondary school. ‘Wake up, Tola. Wake up. Sleepy head! Wake up ’… like that like that sha…

So I sat up and replied him, ‘Big head, I was awake before you dreamt of waking up’

He answered me fast, “Stand up, go bath, I dey una coffee stand.”

Uh oh! “You’re at Nescafe Garden?” I typed back.

“Coffee, Nescafe, all join. Just come and meet me. My sister came to see someone here.”

Bola attends UNILORIN. About two months ago, he brought his younger sister to UI to write Post UME. We got into a debate on which school was better, UI or UNILORIN. His argument beat mine hands down and I hate losing. Over the weeks, I had already gathered ‘weapons and armoury’ to fight the dude. So, you’d understand that I really wanted to see him.

I catapulted out of my bed, went downstairs to fetch water and quickly had my bath. I spent more time dressing up; I just could not find a dress to wear. The reason for this is not far to fetch though, we had not had power in our hall for more than four days. (I’m sure you know the hall I’m talking about). I later settled for a pink sequined dress that had ruffles. At least nobody would know it was rumpled.

I rushed out of my hostel and waited for a cab. As soon as the first cab pulled up, I remembered I did not have any t-fare. So, I went back inside my room and famzed my roommate for 20 bucks. I got it and rushed back to the bus stop. After waiting under the scorching sun for about 15 minutes, I finally got a cab to the faculty.

It was about 9:30a.m when I got to Nescafe garden. I looked around and I did not see Bola. I walked down to Gossip Arena, to the Pepsi shop at SUB, to the taxi park, upstairs in the CLA Building and KDL. I did not find the dude. Meanwhile, I was calling him over and over again and he was not picking up his phone. Did he follow his sister to the lecturer’s office or something? I got tired and decided to sit in the faculty. After some time I got a call from the dude. I was already pissed off. “Bola, where are you nah? I’ve been waiting here since morning.”

He laughed. “As I dey talk to you so, I dey on top my toilet for house.”

I could not believe my ears. “What?” So he was not in school at all?

“I don tell you say make you dey fear me.” He gloated.

What the… I cut the call. Just then, I remembered that not too long ago, I told him that I was a better prankster than he was. I called him back and told him I didn’t like what he did. After laughing at me for a long time, he apologized and told me he was going to come to my school on Sunday… for real, this time. I smiled to myself, he would see who the better prankster is on Sunday.

NUT